rs666: your perspective, and particularly the issues it raises for you living in this shithole world, are both extremely understandable and not at all uncommon, imo.
as ba@ says, it is difficult not to care at all about what others think. it is also often impossible to *know* what others are thinking about you, regardless of whatever clues we might receive. i myself find that i don't really give a shit, except when it comes to people i really care about. but i find that it is more important for me to simply do the best job i can of expressing my viewpoint (in any given context), and then let people think what they will. if they are interested/interesting/critical enough, it will no doubt lead to more discussion, enabling further clarity (hopefully). so i guess my objective is clarity, rather than (not) being perceived as judgmental or wing-nutty or whatever.
i often find that as folks discover and explore more radical perspectives whjch resonate with them, there is a period of finding their own being/comfort/confidence with what those changes in them mean, related to the world at large. too often (in my experience) that results in a period of outspoken and almost dogmatic expression of the new ideas, which can surely come across as judgmental, unrealistic, immature, whatever. i interpret that as something related to insecurity, and if one really finds that these ideas resonate deeply and become an integral part of oneself, that insecurity fades away and the ideas (whatever parts of them) become a part of the dynamic whole which is that individual. of course, some people just have a condescending way of communicating, which may have nothing at all to do with any of this. :-) but that does not sound like you, from what little i can glean.
some friends and myself have considered setting up a secure discussion forum, possibly invitation only (surely fully password protected and not open to the public). i will let you know if that ever comes to fruition.