Well I've yet to be convinced, for any time I think I'm in the company of anarchists, I find instead a group of youngsters struggling through a phase which may or may not be lasting. Doubtless there are exceptions, just not in my meager, face-to-face experiences and environment. The problem to me is that I simply should not assume that those in a community are anarchist given the general lack of any articulate expression to that effect.
There are different approaches to the idea, like a preference towards action over theory and experimentation, or the promotion of anarchist culture. Yet it's the idea that the various approaches allegedly have in common. Having a passion for the idea (as apposed to a passion for fashion) probably keeps it alive better than anything else.
I resist hear the temptation of calling out any of the possible fakers, posers, and prancers for merely dressing the part, for even these can help give life to the idea. Yet oft times it is the substance of the idea, and the afore mentioned feedback and exchange thereof, that is most lacking, even in times and places set aside for the promotion of anarchist culture. It becomes secondary to the event spectacles such as demos, book fairs, and FNB meetings etc. The problems associated with these forums (leftist organizers, market capitalism, single issue obsessions etc) are for another discussion, but without a doubt relate back to the cold atmosphere.
I've also found that the flip side to my own past projected assumptions as to the persuasions of people (I thought to be anarchist) at one time lead me to disregard "the mainstream" as some sort of 'other'. Ironically I've since discovered that the people in my everyday life were far more receptive to the gradual introduction, and discussion, of anarchist ideas into most casual conversations. I just kinda' got tired of hiding my thoughts from all the 'mainstream' folks around me and decided to explore the principals behind all the bullshit in our lives and how they contradict those of anarchism. Everyday people complain about various things in their lives and it oft times can be related back to inconsistencies in (or a coherent lack of) these principals.
Now the exchanges I have with friends and acquaintances has become rather more fulfilling, thanks to the opportunities I now have to introduce these ideas into social circles which previously may have lacked that input. I cannot say that I'm not scared anymore, but more people now know, and can relate to, me. This, above all, else is encouraging.
Hope this helps.