until someone that knows what the hell they are talking about answers ....
As you probably already have discovered, an-archy means no masters/lords/princes/priests. So i don't get to tell you what it will mean to you. :D
Basically, it is the rejection of all arbitrary authority: patriarchy, aristocracy, formal religions, capitalism, etc, etc...; and (significantly) the suggestion of relationships that replace the above with healthy human relations. other than that, we don't agree on a damn thing.
As background I would suggest reading the older questions and answers here (dig back through the 'tags' listings), Wikipedia for gross generalisations (which are useful in themselves), and http://theanarchistlibrary.org/
to explore the ideas that appeal to you.
Taking your question backwards, you become an anarchist by self-declaration - there is no initiation ceremony, no exam, no dues payable. If it means anything, it is a process of self-discovery - we critique what is wrong with the world, reflect on what has value to us as human beings (as opposed to imposed bullshit constructs), and repeat as necessary. Then we read something interesting and have to trash a whole section of our self-conception and rebuild it from scratch. This is what i have found so valuable about this place - it didn't force a world view on me, i kept picking up little pieces here and there that spoke 'truth' to me (and maybe me alone); asking questions is a valuable way of structuring thoughts in my own head, making comments - however invaluable - helps agglomerate other thought fragments and memes onto those questions.
The specific issues you raise have all been asked before (because they are good questions), reading back through previous answers will give you more than i could offer. (Specifics anyone??)
(see also the links provided in this post)
(pretty thin here; religion/spirituality tends to be very personal - i'd suggest most people embrace the bits compatible with anarchy and throw the rest on the bonfire.) try: http://anarchy101.org/886/does-anarchism-religion-religion-churches-organizations
I can't speak to the anarchist scene in England/UK myself, but i will say that we in general have been pretty lousy at welcoming/attracting/recruiting anyone who isn't white skinned. This is peculiar, because it goes against everything we believe in, collectively and personally; yet it continues, and as far as i know no one can figure out why? This doesn't seem to be so much a lack of welcome, as a lack of interest from various sub-cultures (i worded this badly...)? (This is an interesting problem, any insights?)
Don't be discouraged if you don't agree with the first people you meet, we all have our own takes on the (very, very large) body of anarchy; as you find your own place in your own mind, you'll find people you are compatible with (who won't nec'y agree with you :) ), and then race, gender, etc become irrelevant.
Good luck on your journey.
(editted to add some post links.)