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–1 vote
Saying that I have sexual preferences only to those of the opposite sex, does this now make me committed in believing in the gender binary?

Also: How do you include other genders, that do not fit into the male/female divide, when writing? "He or she" would be...? "He or she or genderqueer"?
People's concern with what they say, who they are attracted to, how to include other genders in their language, and other such sensitivity efforts are pathetically shallow and in my mind have almost nothing to do with anarchy (which to me necessarily involves a total abolition of binary and non-binary genders).

You might ask how identifying yourself as straight or thinking in gendered ways limits you and keeps you from a potential life beyond the easy, comfortable boxes which you inhabit and fuck.

But when it comes to worrying about hurting other people's feelings, look much deeper than this, because anyone who gets butthurt because your language implies that men and women might exist also has to use a public bathroom every now and again, and the latter is a much stronger slap to the face reminder of how this society works. There are people who prefer not to live in the boxes of man and woman, but as long as society works this way it will be a constant process of being put back into these boxes and then slipping out of them again. Petty efforts at inclusion and sensitivity will certainly not undo the social fantasy of gender, but could be part of building new boxes for fugitives that are more clever, more difficult to escape.

4 Answers

+3 votes
there are three questions here.
first the header - it can be easier to be insensitive to issues that don't obviously impact us, but sensitivity is a relative concept. it has more to do with will than with attraction. if you want to be sensitive, then you will do the work to be sensitive.

second - no. the gender binary posits that people only exist on polar extremes. the fact that someone is attracted to a certain type doesn't mean that that person only recognizes that type as valid. being attracted to fat women doesn't mean that you despise skinny boys (or whatever).

third - there are a variety of pronouns that include some or most of the options. "ze," "co," and the more subtle "they" are all possibilities.
by (53.1k points)
+2 votes
No it's not insensitive it's how you identify it's only insensitive if you claim to have first hand experience/learned knowledge of a role that you do not identify with or if you try and force your identifications on other people.  I don't believe this makes you committed to believing in the gender binary it's just your preference although I do personally being queer find the concept of  "opposite sex" to be a social construct but if you differ on that hey that's cool. Last question I like terms like "folks" or other broader terms. Reminds me of a quote from some movie, " welcome ladies, gentleman and those of you who haven't decided or don't want" something along those lines.
by (1.2k points)
+1 vote
Queers are also susceptible to erasing non-binary genders. As someone who was culturally-assigned as male, a lot of the genderqueer denial i personally experience comes from gay cis-men. In the queer community generally, it is currently a hotly contested question of whether self-identified bisexuals are in fact reinforcing the gender binary by so identifying. Some people move from identifying as bi- to pansexual to include (potential) attraction to non-binary people. Others maintain that they are indeed bisexual, but that one of either of the binary genders are not included in the two that they are to. What is truly startling is when binary-identifying trans* individuals commit non-binary erasure. Rare, certainly, but it does happen.
by (6.1k points)
0 votes
Never identify yourself as anything, my friend. As soon as you give yourself a label other people develop expectations of you, you develop expectations of yourself, and all expectations do are restrict the way you think and act.

Free yourself, my friend.

Next time someone asks about your sexual polarity, tell them your compass hasn't stopped spinning!
by (150 points)