im from new jersey, and believe me i know what its like to be a young anarchist there (though im a bit older now). im not going to say "it gets better", because it may or it may not. but the secret for me in spending much time and feeling very alone and not totally succumbing to madness, was to recognize my own power to change things for myself and change the ways in which i interact with "the world" and others. It was inspiring in other moments to read the exploits and stories of all those others cast out or self-removed in one way or another from "society". Some people who were inspiring to read when i was younger, though still to this day, were Renzo Novatore's and Bruno Filippi's writing, or books like "The bonnot gang" and "without a glimmer of remorse". It made me appreciate those few (very few) who i had around me to confide in and drove me to search for those other indomitables who roam around. There are many potential confidantes to be found in many places, and i actually managed to find several in new jersey with whom ive shared the most terrifying and beautiful moments of my life, bonds and memories i will treasure forever. In an increasingly alienated and alienating world, the potential for most things meaningful socially seem increasingly bleak, but there are still ways to make your life exhilarating and meaningful for yourself, and it takes time and some intense self examination to decide what those things will be for you
