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What would you tell a disheveled an-prim newly emerged from the woods?

0 votes
So this poor kid walks out of the woods. Leaves and twigs in hair, a skill-set pathetically insufficient for current modernity.

"I was trying to live ANARCHY!" they screech from a face covered in ash and mud, the sunblock of praxis.

You hose them down, towel them off, and try to help them adjust to finding an income and friends. (Figures: few people wanted to live in the woods eating roadkill, so this dirty kid is kind of lonely. And since the EF! folks have left, the cave has seemed particularly bleak).

What do you say? What should this little growling and chirping kid know to survive?
by
Don't be ashamed to shop at Wal-Mart even if leftists call you a sell-out?
by (840 points)
Why do you make so many assumptions about a child walking out of the woods? A bigger mystery is why do you think it's okay to kidnap a child you see walking out of the woods, hosing them down with mysterious liquids, touching them, and try to convince others that you're just trying to help them? You sound like an extremely creepy person.
by (4.7k points)
"could you point me to where you were surviving out there? once you have discovered what the 'civilized' world is like, you'll come running back, and i'll keep the fire going..."
by (13.4k points)

1 Answer

+5 votes
"Feral Child, this is gonna be some shit. I totally get why you went out to rewild, and I want to learn some of what you know, because civilization is gonna come down, and we need to have the skills to survive either together or apart.

I'm sorry you are back in a world you hate, but, let's be honest, you never actually escaped it. Here is what you need to know. You can get by, and you probably have the skills to do so. Those skills are not the same ones that served you surviving in your cave. These are the skills where you learn to scavenge. This is where you think about all those domesticated critters, and you pretend, just like them, that you believe and accept domestication.

Here. Let's take a shower. You will better be able to steal shit and scam if you fit in. This is like how you would blend in with your surroundings. Yeah... I know it sucks, but bare with me if you can. I'm trying to help you get some shit for the least effort.

So, I hate to bring this up, Feral Child, but can we talk about Kevin Tucker and John Zerzan? I mean, JZ has been a huge influence on me, but a person I engage with critically. KT, I get it, by which I mean I know where his jumping off point was, but damn. Ideology much?

Let's be real, you can't just go to a hole in the woods and hope that you are free from the garbage. You are still part of the garbage world...

...I know, I don't like it, and I wish you weren't, but you are. We all are. A pure idea of what getting free means isn't really gonna help, because we live in a closed system and that's some...

Closed system? Oh, I mean that we live on earth, and we aren't expanding beyond that. Or I assume you and I don't think that is a real good option. And transhumanism is some weird-ass garbage, so we are stuck with what we have, which is trying carve out some space in a world dictated by capitalism.

You need to figure out how you are going to reconcile your desire to be wild with the need to destroy the world. I can't tell you what that looks like, Feral Child, but know that I hate the world as much as you."
by (22.1k points)
edited by
"bear with" ;)
by (53.1k points)
Maybe we are getting nekkid to deal with civilization, dot... ;)
by (22.1k points)
Got to get nekkid when you’re post-prim dirty.
by (300 points)
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