good points, funky.
i wonder why someone needs a label. why not describe a situation? for example, if someone called you an asshole, they called you an asshole. if someone physically stronger than me hits me with their fist on a weekly basis, then i can describe that as well. if a father or mother yells at their daughter or son, and grabs them by the hair or arms almost every day, i can sense, feel, visualize, etc. the actions and emotions involved. if i hear that someone (or something - "the system", a company, etc.) "abused" another person, i have a hard time seeing much in my mind, or even feeling very much...only a vague sense of pain enters my consciousness.
i personally don't find much value in labeling something (whether "abuse" or "autism"or anything else) that includes a wide range of behaviors, relationships, and contexts. labeling, imo, tends to water down and make generic the actual people and actions involved. and then, one can only try to specify where on some range (1 to 10?) that generic label applies to a given situation. i don't know how to explain why that (labeling) bothers me so much, but it does.
edited to add:
the more i've reflected and pondered on words and meaning over my life, the more i've reduced my vocabulary. it often makes conversations more difficult with the majority of people i talk with (from their perspective....they often roll their eyes at me, or give up in frustration)...but i tend to enjoy life much more by eliminating many words from my speech and writing. i've added words too, but usually only those which i didn't know of before. generally, i've added words that help me to describe more specifically, while eliminating those that label without context. regarding "abuse" in particular, i don't recall that i ever used it, unless referring to what someone else said.