Question

should anarchists forgive wrong doing

Answer 1

there is no "should".

[assuming you simply mean when a particular anarchist feels they have been fucked over, and not some universal/moralistic "wrong"...]

i see no reason why anarchists would be more forgiving that non-anarchists. and in fact, since the anarchists that i choose to associate with do not value (or even give credence to) morality or any kind of "turn the other cheek" bullshit, it may well be that anarchists are less forgiving.

as an example, many people see modern civilized society as horrendously fucked, and most know who the most egregious contributors and perpetuators are (corporate decision makers, government decision/law makers, high tech priests, cops, etc). but non-anarchists tend to forgive them, and simply continue participating in and actively perpetuating the system - perhaps with hopes of changing it. anarchists tend not to forgive the powers that be, and in fact those perpetrators tend to be a major focus of anarchist projects, mistrust and hatred. 

since personal responsibility and unmediated, direct action are meaningful principles for this anarchist, when someone fucks me over (in a way i consider significant), they will be dealt with directly. that dealing may be anything from a conversation (which may result in me being ok with them) to physical attack or worse. i'm not sure "forgiveness" even plays into it, even if we end up ok after dealing. i'd have to think a bit on what that word really means to me.

Comments

f@ - this answer really resonates with me. I can let things slide sometimes, or go through conflict and come out okay with the other individual, but I don't think forgiveness is quite what is happening.

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this seems like a good answer to me, but I also wonder if it would change things to think about the question on an interpersonal level. would you want to be more forgiving to people who you implicitly trust and consider your ally? or even to people who you inevitably deal with because you live with them or they're in your family, or something? Probably the "there is no should" proviso still applies, but I also suspect that to some extent being caring implies an extra high level of forgiveness.

another possibility is that forgiveness suggests an already-dangerous/unhealthy way of thinking about problems. that having wronged you, someone is in your debt until you forgive them, etc.

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asker, i like your point about forgiveness suggesting a particular way of thinking about things. in the commonly used sense, forgiveness is an almost religious concept, and implies a certain kind of authoritarian relation. i guess i am giving some leeway for more subtle and nuanced uses of the term.

as for how "forgiveness" factors into specific personal relationships: context is huge, in every interaction. so of course, how i respond to being "wronged" by someone i care about and typically trust will necessarily be different from how i respond to being "wronged" by someone i have no previous relationship with. i did not mean to imply that there is a single way to behave/react. i was simply broad-brushing the concept as it applies to anarchists vs non-anarchists.