I don't feel well read enough to recommend a book, especially since as dot noted your request is rather nonspecific. In fact, I would quite appreciate it if someone would take the time to recommend a book accessible to the types of people who might ask your questions (not a slur, quite, different thought patterns like different expositions).
I'll try to answer the other questions from my own perspective (which is slightly idiosyncratic). Anarchist thought doesn't derive from ANY principles. There, I said it. The whole enlightenment style axiomatic social planning thing is boring. Instead of (better: in addition to) principles, why not allow thought (better: practice) to flow from actions, values, stories and rituals? But if you want a small list of things to give the flavor of anarchy, you can try:
freedom of association (as opposed to coercive hierarchy)
mutual aid (as opposed to competition)
direct action (as opposed to reliance on a state, say)
For me, anarchism flows from my values of community, freedom, diversity, and responsibility. I feel the state works in opposition to all these.
To address your example, please note that since anarchists value freedom neither I nor anyone I know would be willing to stop someone from offering themselves for wage labor, if it didn't impinge on the freedom of others, even though such a choice would be an affront to our values and we would probably shun them a little. Historically, though, few people have made this choice without being forced, so the situation might not come up. The statements regarding the employers property are of course highly dependent on your notion of property, the modern one of which is an extreme example better suited to a war zone than to an orderly society. The concept of self employment, and its alleged risks, is again very specific to our cultural bloc. We don't want people to stop working as they do in the current culture, but rather to change the culture to allow different forms of activity.
Finally, you make a variety of claims as to the successes of a cartoon version of modern economics. The modern world has achieved some things that I value, but I feel you exaggerate the success, and your attribution is suspect. Are you seriously singing the praises of a system that can't even get gloves or water to Sierra Leone? Are you sure my life is more noble simply because I can fly to China and eat in a MacDonald's there, while looking at thousands of cute cat pictures from around the world? I have a MacDonald's here, for Chist's sake. And I don't like cats.