How many anarchists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
@-Insurrectionist: Smash the lightbulb with a hammer, shadows bring social war!
@-Communist: Smash the lightbulb with a hammer (and a sickle); everyone gets a shard. Except maybe everyone has to keep the light on.
@-Primitivist: Abolish lightbulbs, AND numbers! Campfires for the win.
@-Mutualist: However many an artisan workshop can send to a timebank.
@-Individualist: Don't tell me what I can and can't screw!
@-Collectivist: Something something *lightbulb vouchers* something something *democratically determined salaries*.
@-Syndicalist: A horizontal federation of trade unions' worth.
@-Capitalist: Worker screws lightbulb, owner screws worker. Also, pay me every time you see my light through the window, ya mooch.
@-Egoist: Just me.
@-Platformist: Whatever the most obsolete method is. Zing!
@-Feminist: No women were exploited in the screwing of this lightbulb.
@-Queer: I'd rather fuck a lightbulb than a cissexist homophobe.
@-Nihilist: Who needs lightbulbs when the whole world is burning?
@-Liberal: I want to "change" the lightbulb, because "screw" sounds a little too aggressive.
@-Hipster: "The light bulb was better before it changed." -Mypal Brokunin
@-Christian: These aren't the Light you're looking for.
@-Buddhist: The more the man screws the light, the more the light screws the man.<- deliberately ambiguous