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How would you describe these types of anarchism in three sentences each?

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A friend asked me to define anarcho-primitivism and nihilism in just three sentences, and I thought that was a good exercise in coming up with a concise description without getting mired in all the details. It seems like a good question for a 101 site, and I don't recall seeing it ever on here.
So - in three sentences how would you describe:

  • Anarcho-syndicalism
  • Anarcho-communism
  • Mutualism
  • Anarcho-primitivism
  • Nihilism
  • Egoism
  • Illegalism
  • Insurrectionary anarchism

I know this is not an exhaustive list of tendencies, so if there are others people want to add, maybe do so in the comments?

asked Feb 10 by anonymous
http://anarchy101.org/115/what-are-the-main-threads-of-anarchist-thinking?show=115#q115

this link doesn't mean people shouldn't take on this exercise. i can imagine it being fun/educational.
Thinking about this has me wanting to compose haiku for each:

Egoism:
The self is central
A union of sovereign selves
All else is spooks

I hate poetry, but I've always appreciated haiku's ability to cut through the bullshit.
i like it, ingrate!
still waiting on more of these haiku, ingrate! your public is impatient!
three teasers:

Workers have power
Waiting for the general strike
Still a dream deferred

Whose streets? Not our streets.
Kids with badges own this game.
Still the windows drop

No viable path
Reject the things and some stuff
We will publish books
so fucking true!

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