@dot: could you clarify what you mean by "...the idea of combating racism by refusing its benefits"? Are those benefits the self-rightous indignation, or is this a wholesale rejection of privledge and money, or do you mean that philosophically you refuse that it benefits anyone? Thanks, confused....
Race does not exist as far as racists mean it: race implies a sub-species within a general class of species. Few racists would deny that all white, asian, black ect. people share commonalities, but they are convinced that there are inter-species differences, for example, as i just used in the bigotry question, donkeys and horses are a different type of animal, and when they fuck they create mules. Black + white fuck = a mixture of skin color, but no significant racial/genetic differences. Some of what I'm saying may be technically wrong, but race is ultimately an illusion. I don't look like any of the white people I know (except my family slightly), and my skin tone is dramatically different than most other white people I know.
My stance on the gender/sex is somewhat similar: of course there are differences, but those differences are clearly not as marked as our society believes them to be.
Go to this compilation by individualist anarchist Wolfi Landstreicher (anti-politics.net/distro/download/wd-vol2iss7to9.doc) and read the nice article called "I dream in color" where he deals with the issue of race from an anarchist perspective while critizing liberal and leftist approaches to it.
the link given by iconoclast was out of date. the correct link is anti-politics.org/distro/download/wd-vol2iss7to9.doc but i have also uploaded the article to theanarchistlibrary.org.
another relevant reading is aragorn's article, the prison house of color...https://theanarchistlibrary.org/library/aragorn-the-prison-house-of-color
i find this question always timely, and never more so, unfortunately.